Ω 014 - nkec Ω

please go off on a tangent like a tangible tangerine

my memories fade like the echoes of your touch

and always always

but you always want to know         I never do


never never is all I know I know

looking to make you smile I forget

you give me your confusion-tinted words after twelve days (but before) while I had nothing to give never to give to give is all I need is all I want but you only gave to me and I twisted inside and hurt myself to never hurt you I hurt you and your tears were sweeter than licorice but I had none to give I only wanted to give but smiles and sobs and footsteps and endless miles

it was life brought close and short and now so far and lost

if you want to know you were wonderful and I was always feeling dark and cold and manipulative and selfish because I thought I knew but I never never and I had to touch and to taste the life that was never mine and that will be often beyond my reach beyond my fingertips beyond my words alone my words alone made you cry alone but never letting go with your tears and I was cold and silent and I felt power and I turned it against my will against my heart my stone I was cold but with words I brought your tears and with words I washed and cold

..........................................................

but you probably want my real words the words that I have forgotten the words that I have kept myself from ever knowing

driving is the easy part because the road is there before me and the long miles drift by like my confused thoughts but harmless and full of smiles like Zelienople and the airplane and Thorn Hill Industrial Center and the guarded border to the Vile Fortress of the North...

and with you I left my world and was given strange tastes and sights and dreams and darkness, that I will never forget but am unable to remember...

you are not perfect and I am horrible but we can never see can never fully understand the other side the part beyond the cracked glass of the tired and dusty mirror~


I want to feel that way again
always perhaps but at least again

next time next time be different next time we can never forget perhaps remember how to close our eyes in the close darkness and dream apart apart in the silence waiting for eternal morning tomorrow, always tomorrow

i only dream for tomorrow


Ω andrew viridis Ω

:: greendarkness ::